Loneliness

One of the biggest lessons I learned regarding my self-esteem was learning how to separate my happiness and value from men. Our culture is inundated with media, movies and ads telling us that as women, we will only be complete when we have a man in our lives. Most storylines revolve around the pursuit of a man. It’s no wonder we get confused by the value we place on our male relationships.

But what they don’t go on to tell you is that marriage, even healthy marriages, will never solve our deepest emotional needs or our loneliness.

It wasn’t until I turned my focus to God for my emotional needs that I truly stopped feeling lonely.  My husband is a good, kind man, but it didn’t matter; it wasn’t enough. And I believe that God in His infinite wisdom, designed marriage to still leave us wanting, so we don’t forget that He is the only one that can fill our deepest emotional needs.

I began by taking the advice of someone dear to me who told me to spend a little time each day talking to God and telling Him everything on my mind, no matter what it was. Leave it all out there, and then see what He does.

I began telling him about my hurts, my anger and struggles. I started very small. 5 minutes at the most. I would sit outside with my coffee and I would just pray what I was thinking. (I’ve heard her tell others to write out their thoughts). As time went on, I began to feel closer to God. Even in the midst of my ranting about my struggles, He began to comfort me. It wasn’t anything ground shaking, but just a sense of comfort when I took the time to do this in the morning.

Gradually, once I got a lot of my anger and frustrations out, this time began to be filled with more gratitude and praise as a byproduct of what was happening in my life. I felt like He was really there for me. I felt closer to Him. Now, I look forward to these times in the morning, and my day feels a little off when I miss it.  God is now my main source of love and comfort.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my husband, he is a very good man. But he is now in the correct place in my life; he is a compliment to my already contented life. Before, I was putting too much pressure on him to make me feel content and fulfilled in this life. That is not his job. Nor is it something that he is able to do.

So, I urge you to put men in their rightful place in your lives. They are not the source of your happiness, or your self-worth. They are meant to compliment your life, not make it complete.

Only God can make you complete.