Enmity: the state or feeling of being actively opposed or hostile to someone or something.
As women, we can be our own worst enemies. We can also inflict a lot of pain on each other.
I can remember times when I was with a group of women and I felt like I needed to walk on eggshells. Don’t offend, or make anyone jealous, don’t say the wrong thing. And even then, it felt like you were being gossiped about behind your back.
So why are women often champions for equality and proper treatment of one another while at the same time gossiping and tearing one another down?
I believe the answer to this lies in a very old curse that was put on the serpent back in the Garden of Eden after he deceived Eve:
So the Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this,
“Cursed are you above all livestock
and all wild animals!
You will crawl on your belly
and you will eat dust
all the days of your life.
15 And I will put enmity
between you and the woman,
and between your offspring[a] and hers;
he will crush[b] your head,
and you will strike his heel.”
So often when we meet a woman who is prettier/skinnier than us, more successful than us, or has a “better life” we feel jealous. It’s almost immediate. We instantly compare ourselves and feel “less than”. Then to make ourselves feel better we make assumptions to counteract their “success”.
She must not eat to be that skinny….she may be more successful, BUT…you get the idea.
The bible says however in Ephesians 6:12 that our battle is not with one another.
12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
I wonder what would happen if instead of comparing ourselves or treating each other poorly because of our jealousy, we took a step back and asked ourselves – why am I feeling this way?
Could it be (and this is just my theory) that the gifts and talents you are seeing that are making you jealous are the very gifts that God wants to use in their life? But instead of acknowledging them or appreciating them, we tear them down and make the individual feel more insecure themselves, thus perhaps thwarting the very gift that God has given them?
Could it be that the enmity that God has put between us and the enemy is being misappropriated towards one another? I believe that it is.
Believe me, I still struggle with comparing myself to other women, not as bad as it used to be, but I still get those moments. I want to share a secret that I’ve used to counteract that jealous feeling. When I meet someone new, or talking with an old friend, if I find myself feeling jealous of them, I make an effort to compliment them on the very thing I am jealous of. Even if I’ve just met someone, I may tell them, “Wow, you have beautiful eyes!” or “Wow, good for you, that’s an amazing accomplishment”. And the best part?
The jealousy almost immediately leaves.
You see, I don’t want to be a woman who helps the enemy tear another woman down. I want to do the very opposite thing that I believe he wants….I want to lift them up.
Women are amazing, we are strong, resilient, kind and compassionate. I believe the enemy wants to keep us all down; too insecure to fully operate in our gifts and talents. So I am making it a personal mission to try and counteract this. And by lifting other women up (authentically) I’ve learned that it not only encourages them, but it also honors God by acknowledging the beauty of His creation. The more you do this, you’ll discover that you will spend more time looking for ways to celebrate your differences, rather than looking for comparisons.
Will you join me?
Out of the Grave 
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