Little Kisses

Looking back on my abuse if there is one thing I can say that got me through it, I would say that I knew that God loved me and that He had a plan for the pain I was going through. I would meditate on Jeremiah 1, believing that before God formed me in the womb, that He knew me and that He would take care of me. You are going to have to find something to stand on, something that will bring you hope in the middle of the struggle.

In our hectic lives, it’s easy to lose sight of Him. Too busy to read, too busy to stop and pray, to look and see all that He does for us. If you’ve never taken the time to write out a prayer journal, I highly recommend trying it. My faith grew stronger by writing out my prayers and then watching God answer them. Whether large or small, I wrote them out. Then, sometimes quickly and sometimes no so quickly, I would be able to check them off.

There was something so powerful about seeing His love for me in the large things, but even more so in the small things. I call them God’s little kisses. Little reminders that He is here, that He cares about me and that He is concerned about even the small things in my life.

I encourage you to write them out, because often we ask for these small requests, and then forget about them as the days and weeks go by. But by keeping a journal it is a constant reminder of His love.

It’s funny, I’ll never forget the time I wrote out an entire page and a half of dreams I had for my life. Goals, desires for my future. I was living back in my home town at the time, and I couldn’t get this nagging feeling that it was time for me to move again; I had become strong enough to stand on my own. I kept trying to resist the change, comfortable in my familiar surroundings, familiar friends, with my parents, and yet the feeling wouldn’t subside. The more I put if off, the more uncomfortable I became. In fact, I started to anguish on this topic so much that I started to become miserable in my present circumstances.

So, I took a leap of faith and I left my home town. I knew I was going to visit my friend in North Carolina for a few days, but after that I had no idea where God was taking me.

After a few days in North Carolina, I asked the Lord where He wanted me to go next, and I heard “Where were you last happy?” After thinking about it for a while, I remembered that the last time I was happy was right before I met my ex-husband when I was living in Texas. At first I thought it was a joke. You see, this was the place I swore that I would never live again. But it was so clear to me that this was where I was supposed to go, that I packed up my things and left the very next day.

Why do I tell you this story? Because within a very short period of time of returning to Texas, every prayer request that I put down on my page and a half was answered. He just needed me to listen to His calling before He could answer them.

So I’ve used this as a lesson that guides me in small and large matters. If it is a nagging sense that I can’t seem to shake, I respond, knowing that His plan and His ways are far better than my own.