Stress

There were moments in my recovery that were miraculous. There were only a few, but when they occurred I was no longer the same after. I remember specifically when I first came home and visited a local church. I didn’t know the Pastor, or anyone else in the congregation. I was a stranger to them so they had no idea of what I had been through.

I will never forget this moment. We were all standing and praying and the Pastor walked over to me and started to pray for me. He prayed that God would heal my tormenting thoughts. He had no idea what was going on inside my mind, so I knew that this was a God moment.

You see up until that day, my mind would race a million miles an hour. Fearful thoughts, dreadful thoughts, thoughts of insecurity, shame, and I couldn’t get them to stop. These thoughts were not your typical insecure thoughts. It was different. It was like being bombarded over and over again without any relief.

I didn’trealize it at the time, but after doing more research, I discovered that I had many symptoms of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). I had always associated PTSD with soldiers returning from war, but I didn’t realize that leaving my abuse would render the same effects. But it happens, it is real.

After that day, I no longer experienced the same level of anxiety. Did I still have some, yes, of course, but the racing thoughts, the bombardment stopped. My mind settled down. It was a miracle.

So why do I tell you this? It’s easy to isolate yourself after abuse. Being around people can cause even more anxiety and stress. What if they hurt you too? What if they find out? You are often filled with shame or fear of rejection and so it is more comfortable to stay home, to hide.

But I would have never gotten through my abuse if it hadn’t of been for the people around me. My parents, my Pastor and his wife (yes, I ended up staying at that church) and those who loved and supported me. You need to find someone or a group of people you can trust. People that can help walk you through the healing process. To cheer you on when you need it, to pray for you and to encourage you.

So don’t hide in the shame. Don’t isolate yourself. God can and will use other people to help you heal.

For more information about PTSD, click on the link below.

http://www.adaa.org/screening-posttraumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd